Tuesday, April 14, 2009

scenes from a future toronto high school computer lab

News this morning that Future Shop will donate $50,000 to the Toronto District School Board to upgrade the computer labs in two high schools. The catches? The schools must be within seven kilometres of a Future Shop store and the labs will be painted using the chain's grey/red colour scheme. While it appears the electronics chain's conditions extend to decor and potential naming rights for the lab, one wonders how far they could go...

TEACHER:
Morning class. Hope you're all ready to dive into the exciting world of building web sites today in the Future Leaders Tech Lab (TM). Before I can begin, there are a few matters to take care of, which are sponsored by Future Shop...get it first! Here to provide some vital information is ****** from the local Future Shop.

(enter a Future Shop employee)

FS EMPLOYEE:
Good morning class! My name is ****** and I'm here to answer any questions you may have about products at Future Shop. I can let you know that we have HP computers like the ones you are using today on sale this week for only $500, after the $175 mail-in rebate. If you are interested in buying one, come see me during class and we can discuss protection plans and payment options. We can also provide...

STUDENT 1 (yells):
Sir, this is so gay!

TEACHER:
Be quiet! Pay attention!

FS EMPLOYEE:
As I was saying, we can also provide you with the Microso...

STUDENT 2:
Sir! Sir! I'm bored! Can I hang out in the hallway?

STUDENT 3:
Yeah, I'm bored too! Can I do my homework?

TEACHER (sighs):
Not until ****** has finished...don't forget that they are paying for this classroom.

FS EMPLOYEE:
You know, if you need help with your homework, we can add in, for only $19 extra, a suite of...

STUDENT 4 (rises):
Corporate infiltration of the classroom corrupts the educational system! We are not...

STUDENT 1 (interrupts):
Dude, speak English!

TEACHER:
They're saying "this sucks."

STUDENT 1:
The teacher said "sucks!"

TEACHER (sighs, then murmurs)
It was easier when I showed videotapes...

FS EMPLOYEE:
Maybe you should just start the class.

TEACHER:
Sure. OK class, click on the Internet Explorer logo, which is...

ENTIRE CLASS (in unison):
...sponsored by Future Shop.

FIN

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