Showing posts with label vintage magazines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vintage magazines. Show all posts

Thursday, September 27, 2007

fake follicular follies

I may be onto a new web trend with a recent series of posts spotlighting fake facial hair options for those dashing types who require a quick physical change before heading out for a night on the town. Other sites have joined the bandwagon.

I thought this fashion statement was restricted to comic books and low-grade sports magazines...until I stumbled onto a three-page spread from a 1968 issue of Playboy, demonstrating how your clean-cut all-American guy could quickly change his appearance with fake fuzz to lure in the ladies. With these tips, would an average Joe make Hef proud?

One thing's for certain: these fake hairpieces cost more those found in the funny pages.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (1)
Left: the Zapata, to bring out your inner revolutionary or bad guy in a spaghetti western. Presumably named in honour of Mexican Revolution leader Emiliano Zapata, whose actual mustache bore a closer resemblance to a bushier version of the Britannia pictured on the right.

As for the UK-inspired gem, a hearty blast of Hail Britannia should play in the background while affixing it above your lip. This moustache should be accompanied by a fine Scotch and an English dolly bird.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (2)
"Whimsy for whiskers"?!? Checking the Bank of Canada's inflation calculator, these stylish sideburns were a pricey whim - a $350 to $600 whim. It was the price to pay until real sideburns were allowed in offices a few years later.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (3)
"Freudulent" - brand name, fab new adjective or subliminal misspelling of "fraudulent"? The model is awed by the sophistication of her friend's new Van Dyke, until it attaches itself to her lip during their good night smooch.

Forget the swashbuckling qualities endowed by the Mariner beard - it's a young Captain High Liner! All he requires now is an anchor patch on his jacket, a spiffy neck scarf and a captain's hat. She expects him to say "Arr Matey!" at least once during a charming evening at the local surf n' turf restaurant.

Source: Playboy, September 1968 - JB

Sunday, February 22, 2004

time, time, time...

While several other entries remain in the development hell known as "the drafts folder", we'll move to examine some old items kicking around...this time 70s Time magazines found dirt cheap in Kitchener

Was in K-W on Valentine's Day, beginning the task of picking up goodies for a dinner party - had to do something to keep myself occupied on the day of the year you feel the world looks down on you for being single. Figured it was a good day to get away from the city. Last stop was at the K-W Book Exchange, the store where magazines go to die. Found a stack of late 70s vintage Time magazines, decided a couple might provide some vintage ads to use for design inspiration or to hack up for greeting cards. Bought 4, one each from '76-'79. Like the 1969 Macleans featured in an earlier log, these magazine had stories which still impact us today. Let's start with the oldest of the lot...

February 16, 1976
COVER STORY: large drawing of lawyer F. Lee Bailey's head - "PATTY IN COURT"
STORY MOST RELEVANT TO TODAY: A story on US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger's falling popularity with both Republicans and Democrats, especially concerning negotiations over the SALT treaty. The story mostly deals with Kissinger's battles with the Defense Donald Rumsfeld, shown in a picture chewing on a pen, not looking much different than he does now.
ODDBALL ADS: A picture of a normal-looking kid happily clutching a football larger than his head. "They thought we couldn't do it..." It's an ad for the Canadian Association for the Mentally Retarded.
WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: Reader's Digest finally fits the rules for being considered a "Canadian" magazine...Margaret Trudeau breaks all the protocol rules on a trip through Latin America...Canada wins its first medal at the '76 Winter Olympics in Innsbruck, a silver in speed skating...CODCO appears at Theatre Passe Muraille

April 25, 1977
COVER STORY: Jimmy Carter and energy policy
STORY MOST RELEVANT TO TODAY: An interview with current Oscar nominee Diane Keaton, accompnaying a review of Annie Hall.
ODDBALL ADS: For National Secretaries Week, a gift suggestion courtesy of Ralph Kramden himself, Jackie Gleason. "Behind every great man...are the women who helped you make it. Let's give them a round of applause and my Jackie Gleason Daisy Cup Bouquet!" Guess a pay raise didn't cut it. The accompanying drawing shows a secretary in thoughtful mode (her glasses touching her lips) on the right side, what looks like a cutout of Gleason on the left and an unspectacular setting of daisies in a hideous cup in the middle. All for $10.95! ($9.95 for 2 or more).
WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: No Canada section this issue. Only mention is in the "People" section, with a picture of Pierre Trudeau about to dive into a swimming pool.

June 19, 1978
COVER STORY: The California property tax revolt led by retired industrialist Howard Jarvis, whose brief infamy led to a cameo appearance in the movie Airplane - he's the guy Ted Stryker leaves in the cab at the airport, who has the one-liner after the credits.
STORIES MOST RELEVANT TO TODAY: The Jarvis tax revolt, as the laws that resulted from his grass-roots campaign (Proposition 13) led to other laws that led to the California budget meltdown (due to curbs in the methods of raising taxes) that ultimately led to the recall sideshow last year. There's also a story titled "West Bank: The Cruelest Conflict". It still is.
ODDBALL ADS: "Announcing the return of traditional values." It's an ad for Canadian Tradition Rye Whiskey. There's a spot for Japan Air Lines featuring a teapot with a reflection of a stewardess in a kimono pouring traditional tea for passengers.
WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: Zilch. No pictures of any of the Trudeau family in their skivvies.

June 4, 1979
COVER STORY: A feature on writer Russell Baker. In the top corner, Joe Clark's defeat of Pierre Trudeau in the '79 federal election.
STORY MOST RELEVANT TO TODAY: Seems we're heading for a federal election soon, one could also result in a minority government. Funniest line from the article, from a Trudeau aide: "The Conservatives' bottom line is that it's time for a change. Our bottom line is that Joe Clark is a nerd." I can see the same line dredged up if Harper or Clement become the new Conservative leader.
ODDBALL ADS: The Loews LeConcorde hotel in Quebec City proudly boasts that it has Quebec's hottest discotheque. A picture shows two sweaty rejects from Saturday Night Fever. Lots of beer ads with stubbies
WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE GREAT WHITE NORTH: Besides the election, the Canadiens won their fourth-straight Stanley Cup, defeating the Rangers.