Ever have an image or commercial burned in your brain for years and never found a way to prove that your mind isn't playing tricks on you? Until some random browsing on YouTube this weekend, I was almost convinced that Duke the Penguin was a figment of my imagination.
Blame Toledo, Ohio for this brainworm. My suspicion is that I was waiting for other family members to finish trying on clothes at the Woodville Mall branch of Sears and watched a loop tape of a Duke ad several times to kill time. Five minutes is all I needed for this cool-lookin' dude to forever etch himself on my brain cells. These memories surface whenever I see the "Poochie" episode of The Simpsons, as Poochie and Duke share similar delusions of being "cool".
Unless Kraft underwrote a remake, Timer's wagon wheel would need modifications to satisfy modern views on proper nutrition. Dried apples or pears would be nifty cracker substitutes despite rolling like a flat tire.