Wednesday, July 20, 2005

course selection

A recent morning paper included a course calendar for U of T's School of Continuing Studies, whose offerings include a few chuckle-worthy courses.

I'm not necessarily mocking the validity of these course - some of them sound interesting. It's the name or the concept of somebody shelling out $100-600 for these that's funny.

ARTS
Ciao Italia: Have Imagination, Will Travel
Yes, my imaginary Italy includes crowded freeway rest stops where old ladies push you out of the way while ordering lunch at the cafeteria (true story, happened near Genoa).

In Italy, Do As The Italians Do
Course coming next year: In Uzbekistan, Do As The Uzbeks Do.

Journey with Us to Magical Places with Great Art
Actually, "Magical Places" seems to be a theme among the art courses. Sadly, no "Magical Places: Scarborough".

BUSINESS
Essentials of Competitive Intelligence
a.k.a. How to Cope with Wal-Mart.

Advanced Mediation: Getting Beyond Impasse
Not guaranteed to work if dealing with young Communists, ultra-right wingers or Wal-Mart.

HUMANITIES
Woody Allen and His Comic Film Masterpieces
My favourite Woody movies, Bananas and Sleeper, aren't listed. Maybe they want to milk Marshall McLuhan's cameo in Annie Hall for all it's worth.

Thumbs Up
a.k.a Let's Train Roger Ebert's Replacement! Amy recently posted a pic of Ebert that looked eerily like our father during the last year of his life.

Celebrity History of Canada
a.k.a. Alex Trebek and Lorne Greene 101. They mispelled Pa Cartwright's name in the calendar. Maybe the Lorne Green they're referring to is the assistant service manager at my garage (not a celebrity, but provides good service). From the names listed, looks like they're going to have diagrams of William Shatner's rug, a rare sample of what's left of Bobby Orr's knees and the football that sank Robert Stanfield.

Diana, Princess of Wales
Courses coming next year: Bennifer, The Mystique of Zsa Zsa Gabor and The Wit and Wisdom of Prince Philip.

The Most Popular Operas of The Last 150 Years
Course coming next year: The Least Popular Operas of the Last 150 Years, featuring O Slave, Where Art Thou (1866), The Gristly Pig (1881), The Barbarian of Seville (1898), The Robot Monkey from Venus (1927), Sieg Heil! (1935), The Green Beret of Vietnam (1968), Plan Nine From Outer Space: The Opera (1986) and The Patriot of Washington (2002).

Philosophy Cafe: Whose Body Is It Anyway?
A course on ethics involving the human body. Prerequisite: Philosophy Cafe: Who's Line Is It Anyway, a philosophical dissertation on the long-running TV show and its Greek philosophical overtones.

WELL-LIVED LIFE
How to Buy, Sell and Prosper on eBay: Parts I and II

Based on the hit 1977 James Brown song. Insider tip: make sure your US customers use the correct type of money order!

Writing Song Lyrics
a.k.a. Recapturing Teen Angst 101. - JB

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