Wednesday, November 10, 2004

warehouse xmas shopping tips

We're back this year with more items available exclusively at JB's Warehouse. Remember - we're there to serve your gift-buying needs!

Jones Soda is launching a limited-edition, no carbs/calories pack of the following holiday-themed flavours:
* Cranberry
* Fruitcake
* Turkey and Gravy
* Mashed Potato and Butter
* Green Bean Cassarole

Mmmmm, artificial green bean cassarole flavour...

Undaunted, the folks in product research here at the Warehouse have come up with their own unique spin on carbonated beverages. Introducing JB's Own Handcrafted Fast Food Sodas!

* Cheeseburger
* Chicken Wing - available in mild, honey garlic and Buffalo varieties
* Nachos with Cheese
* Poutine
* Veggie Dog - for the vegan/vegetarian crowd

Our researchers have also come up with these exotic JB's Handcrafted flavours:

* Mucus - when you want a taste of cold/flu season without the distraction of falling ill!
* Candy Heart - complete with floating messages, just like the candy!
* Pineapple-Glazed Ham - Perfect for Easter! Availale in Kinda Salty and Pump My Veins With Salt strengths
* Communion Wafer - approved by 5 out of 6 dioceses!
* Paczki - remember, you don't have to be Polish to polish off a paczki!
* Arsenic & Old Lace - fool your friends into thinking you're poisoning them! See if they mistakenly will themselves to death! Also available in Cyanide Slide!
* Double Shot Of My Baby's Love - we'll leave it to your imagination as to what flavour this creamy concoction is!
* Milli Vanilla - an imitation of imitation vanilla flavour soda! The drink for post-modernists!

We're still working on the final design, but here's a sample label!

JB's Handcrafted Soda - Mom's Pineapple-Glazed Ham Flavour

JB's Handcrafted Sodas
Guaranteed to Bring a Smile or Your Money Back
If An Accident Occurs, We'll Pay For a Stomach Pump!
- JB

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