Thursday, December 16, 2004

who gives a hoot about figgy pudding?

Got an email from a friend about ther meaning of Xmas song lyrics, specifically I'll Be Home For Christmas. Not a subject I've ever thought long and hard about - I can never quite get into the Xmas music mood, with odd, usually jazzy exceptions. Still, it got me thinking about other tunes we're all subjected to over the holidays...

The one that always bugged me was the full version of We Wish You A Merry Christmas. Most people stick to the first verse, a simple greeting wishing everyone well. So far, no problems.

Verse two suggests your guests have ulterior motives in coming over to greet you. No poignant words about brotherhood and peace on earth, no religious or secular allusions. Nope, it's a flat out demand for figgy pudding. "Bring it right here". You'd think it was trick-or-treaters at the door.

By verse three, the once-merry carolers have turned into the Things That Wouldn't Leave! None of the intruders on your premises are willing to leave until they get some durned puddin'. Sure, they keep saying they're bringing glad tidings, but they're singing those lines softer than the increasingly shrill demand for figgy pudding.

Have mercy on the hapless person who doesn't have a piping hot figgy pudding ready when the happy horde descends on them. It could turn into a standoff. I can see the news reports now...

BREAKING NEWS: Toronto police report a standoff between a group of angry yet determined carolers in the Yonge-Eglinton area. Reports indicate that the carolers are refusing to vacate the premises of John and Jane Merry until they produce a figgy pudding. Police have closed off several streets near Eglinton and Mt. Pleasant as there are unconfirmed reports of similar incidents in the neighbourhood. Police will hold a press conference in half-an-hour. They recommend that residents in the area to beware of any group of carolers singing We Wish You A Merry Christmas. More on this story as it develops...coming up next, the latest on Britney Spears' latest breath of air...

Meanwhile, in case you have anyone hammering at your door demanding figgy pudding, here's a recipe. - JB