JB's Warehouse & Curio Emporium

It was a serene winter Friday afternoon. Bellevue Square Park was quiet, perhaps the quietest I've ever seen. Perhaps it was due to my visit happening on a workday. Maybe regular visitors were seeking refuge from the snowy landscape in one of Kensington Market's shops and eateries. Or maybe people were afraid of the recent change in one of the park's landmarks. At first it was the odd bird or two found drained of all of their blood. Then larger urban animals were discovered in the same state. You might think a raccoon is a nuisance, but nobody wants to see one, or any other creature, drained of their life fluids for no apparent reason. All of the deceased animals were found within the immediate vicinity of the Al Waxman statue on the west side of the park. Was there a secret ritual going on at night under the noses of the residents around the square? It was after the third report of foul play that investigators noticed something odd about the statue's head. Th...

Context: this tale was inspired by a window display at George's Trains on Mount Pleasant Road. Outside every large city, there lie charming small towns rich with character and history. One such place near the Warehouse is George City. George City was founded in 1863 by Silas "Stinky Si" George, when he needed a place to hide after gunrunning for both sides during the American Civil War. George found the area, then known as Sulphur Gulch, a great hideaway for fellow tradesmen, as well as a great place to hide his poor personal hygiene. George was killed in a gunfight in September 1866 after he lost a card game and couldn't round up the 20 pounds of carrots his opponent, "Jackrabbit Slim" Hausenphefer demanded as payment. In tribute, the settlers renamed the town in George's honour and hold "Carrot Days" each September, complete with reenactments of George's final fight and "best Bugs Bunny imitation" contests. Our first s...

A few years ago, some friends entered the Moc Docs contest. None of our entries made it far, but it was a learning experience in that it was the first time I ever finished a script. While that project was brewing (here's my contribution ), I tried to write other, unrelated ideas in case we ever got a film collective rolling. One I fooled around with for awhile used an ad agency meeting as a framework for short, satirical commercial parodies. What follows is all I ever wrote down, last updated in March 2004. I would have written this during down town at the office, or while my brain needed a rest from other activities. Some of the jokes remain relevant, others are dated. Other than spelling and quickly designing a graphic this evening, I haven't whipped this into better shape. All I hope is that nobody south of the border takes this segment seriously... **** (An advertising agency meeting room, with several employees and executives sitting around. Pitches for new advert...

Recently, the Warehouse has received an avalanche of calls from customers concerned that their personal enviroments don't have the right scent. They've heard about Shania Twain's Scentstories fragrence discs and wanted to know if we were going to marry the magical worlds of music and air freshen...er...environmental aids to provide solace from the hustle and bustle of daily life. The Warehouse contacted one of our valued vendors with suggestions for extensions of this line, which we know our customers will appreciate. After extensive market research and many long days journeys into night, we have come up with our premiere selection: TOM WAITS - 1970s EDITION It's a new disc theme that plays five amazing scents reminiscent of the old man bar or cheap greasy spoon in your town. Transform any environment into one dripping with character, smoky haze and that distinctive barroom stench. Also on the drawing board: We're looking for the next teen bimbette singing...