JB's Warehouse & Curio Emporium

Just Married #107, September 1975 By the end of the 1950s, the majority of comic-book publishers were gone, victims of the great comic-industry slump, and by the 1960s only Charlton, Marvel, and DC Comics were still publishing romances. Of the three, Charlton's were probably the absolute worst love comics ever produced. Each issue gave the impression that, after having blown their entire monthly budget on a beautiful cover, the editors parceled out the interior pages to various talented high school relatives of the staff. - Trina Robbins, From Girls to Grrrlz (1999) While doing some file housekeeping on my computer, I found several scans of one-page fillers from those rock-bottom Charlton romance comics. In this particular issue, the uncredited writers (who online databases don't identify, possibly to spare them embarrassment) were fixated on how many punchlines they could write based on the low intelligence of females. Truly bottom-of-the-barrel stuff, relying on tire...

In the midst of winter cleaning at the Warehouse, we've uncovered a treasure trove of romance comics from the 1960s and 1970s. Here's one of the gems we found. After a near-death experience with a perfectly spherical boulder that charged at you on an idyllic cliffside beach, what pair of stiffly-drawn young lovers can't resist a touch of in-law humour? John and his unnamed lover soon returned to the picnic, where everyone had a good laugh as if it was the closing minute of a Hanna-Barbera cartoon. When the lovebirds wandered off to change their clothes, the in-laws had a quiet conversation... MOTHER : I told you not to buy a boulder from the Acme catalogue! FATHER : But it was the only one I could afford! SMERSH's boulders cost too much! MOTHER : (sighs) I knew I should have brought the arsenic. None of the major comic book databases have a clue as to who the uncredited writer and artist of this one-page filler were. Source: Just Married #102 , October 19...

Source: Teen-Age Love #70, May 1970 Word placement is crucial when trying to sell a product. The manufacturers of this low-end weight loss aid should have fired the ad designer or the 1930s-era doctor staring into his microscope for continuing to suggest that fattening foods are delicious. I suspect the designer was clumsy when pasting together the Dr. Kildare wannabe, text from the 1950s and a picture of his girlfriend from their Florida vacation three years ago. Then again, the intent might be to subtly convince weight-conscious teens that sneaking a few snacks is OK, which leads to continued purchases of Vel-X to reduce extra flab that never quite disappears. Also note the very small print near the bottom of the middle column that "your own experience may, of course, vary." Gullible readers were too exhausted by the sheer volume of text used in this ad (or the repetition of "thousands" of users, who were actually Lily and Janice Thousands of Cedarhurst, NY...

To celebrate Valentine's Day, this dip into the vaults leads to the wacky world of old romance comics. The Miss American Teen-Ager contest was one of several contests run out of Palisades Amusement Park , which closed three years after this ad appeared to make way for high-rise apartments. The contest dated back to 1960, which appears to be the vintage of the clip art of the girl dancing on the record. Note the first "major prize award" listed, a 1969 Dodge Charger. That particular model became an icon a decade later, though not necessarily for wannabe pageant winners... Just two good ol' boys, never meanin' no harm... (As a kid, I had a General Lee playset, where you "charged" the car by swiping it backwards on the floor, then letting it go. The car saw more action racing down Lego landscapes or crashing into stacks of hockey cards then the plastic barrels that came with it.) Girls' Romances was one of National/DC's long-running rom...