JB's Warehouse & Curio Emporium

...or at least how one could achieve fame, according to a Toronto-based 1920s humour magazine. Illustration by Jim Taylor. Source: Goblin , March 1925 - JB

A post sometime back about my memories of Woolco also spurred memories of Bananas magazine. Little information about Bananas online, other than its editor was Jovial Bob Stine, who later cashed in for Scholastic as R.L. Stine, writer of the Goosebumps line of pre-teen books. Bananas mixed entertainment features, music reviews and MAD-style humour. A strong KISS fixation runs through the late 70s issues. The magazine ran out of steam in the early 80s, after it switched its focus to video game articles and humour - judging from the later issues we had and those for sale on eBay, Bananas peeled its last in '84. Amy and I found most of our issues at Woolworth's - earlier ones (including the very first issue, c. 1976, with features on Chico & The Man and Mad cartoonist Don Martin) at Southland Centre in suburban Detroit, late 70s/early 80s in Leamington. I'm guessing the chain had a remainder deal with Scholastic, as back issues of Dynamite! and related mags wer...

The Warehouse scanner will have a busy weekend. Over the next few days, various pictures from the past decade will make their way onto Flickr . Digging through old discs and preparing old pictures from London for a "then and now" feature I intend to do after my vacation are the driving force behind this. As a teaser, here are a couple of pages from my university residence's zine, The Arts House Forum ...mostly because these were already on disc. Usually put out once a year, it was an excuse for a bunch of us to sit around the hall and cut up magazines and photos. This spread from 1996 features a little-known corner of Guelph musical history. The band members wrote their bios, though I added a detail or two ("appalling stage presence" derives from a heavy-listening-of-late-60s-Mothers-of-Invention-albums phase I went through at the time). Sadly, that is my chicken-scratch handwriting. - JB

A recent morning paper included a course calendar for U of T's School of Continuing Studies , whose offerings include a few chuckle-worthy courses. I'm not necessarily mocking the validity of these course - some of them sound interesting. It's the name or the concept of somebody shelling out $100-600 for these that's funny. ARTS Ciao Italia: Have Imagination, Will Travel Yes, my imaginary Italy includes crowded freeway rest stops where old ladies push you out of the way while ordering lunch at the cafeteria (true story, happened near Genoa). In Italy, Do As The Italians Do Course coming next year: In Uzbekistan, Do As The Uzbeks Do . Journey with Us to Magical Places with Great Art Actually, "Magical Places" seems to be a theme among the art courses. Sadly, no "Magical Places: Scarborough". BUSINESS Essentials of Competitive Intelligence a.k.a. How to Cope with Wal-Mart. Advanced Mediation: Getting Beyond Impasse Not guaranteed to ...

We're back this year with more items available exclusively at JB's Warehouse. Remember - we're there to serve your gift-buying needs! Jones Soda is launching a limited-edition, no carbs/calories pack of the following holiday-themed flavours: * Cranberry * Fruitcake * Turkey and Gravy * Mashed Potato and Butter * Green Bean Cassarole Mmmmm, artificial green bean cassarole flavour... Undaunted, the folks in product research here at the Warehouse have come up with their own unique spin on carbonated beverages. Introducing JB's Own Handcrafted Fast Food Sodas ! * Cheeseburger * Chicken Wing - available in mild, honey garlic and Buffalo varieties * Nachos with Cheese * Poutine * Veggie Dog - for the vegan/vegetarian crowd Our researchers have also come up with these exotic JB's Handcrafted flavours: * Mucus - when you want a taste of cold/flu season without the distraction of falling ill! * Candy Heart - complete with floating messages, just like...

This week, the Warehouse takes a moment to remember one of the greatest entertainers who ever lived, Mr. Max Monkey. Back in the early 50s, Max charmed audiences around the world with his unique piano jazz stylings. Though he was best known for his boogie woogie tunes, Max was equally adept at mastering the newest sounds of the day. From 1947 to 1961, Max was one of RCA’s best selling artists –who has never seen a copy of 1959’s classic album A Monkey at Carnegie Hall ? The Max Monkey trio (Max on piano, Charlie Chimp on bass and Ollie Orangutan on drums) laboured on through the 1960s, until tragedy struck in 1963 when Charlie was killed in a banana truck mishap. The loss hit Max hard, which exacerbated a growing problem with the bottle. By 1966, Max was reduced to whatever low-paying gig he could find, and spent too much time hanging out with Chet Baker. By 1968, Max had gone through rehab and was ready to take on the world again. Unfortunately, the world wasn’t ready to embrace...

As mentioned in previous entries, a group of us entered the Moc Docs contest earlier this year. It was first time I'd ever fully-written a script - any previous attempts to write one never went far (other than a bizarro-world piece written in grade 2, which I'll post when I find it again). Here it is, a mocumentary look at the person who created Hinterland Who's Who...or is about the person filming it? It's not much more than a comedy skit, but it's something. Lots of thanks to the rest of the Robot Dog crew, who pitched in their five cents (especially Stevie D...his script should have received some consideration). Read and laugh or groan... Film begins with familiar strains of Hinterland Who’s Who, opening on a shot of empty parkland or forest, maybe a squirrel or dog running by. Title card - "HINTERLAND WHO’S WHO" A middle-aged man shuffles onto the screen, looking around at nothing in particular, like an animal popping its head out of a ...

Decided to sift through the back reaches of my rarely-used Hotmail account (aka Spam 'R Us). Found this note, received way, way back in September of 1995, the oldest e-mail I have kicking about. We're talking the dawn of my second year at U of G. It's juvenile and gut-busting at the same time: I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing. I hearded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectac...

...because it's never too early to start! Only four months to go until the holidays. Beat the madding crowds in December - shop at the Warehouse now for gifts everyone will enjoy! Is Rover wandering around the yard aimlessly, bumping into everything in site? Has man's best friend forgotten what you told then about watering the flower bed...because they can't tell it's the flower bed? Or, has your stressed pet been unable to lie back and read the newspapers you give them because the text is too small? Tragically, canine myopia happens and the eyewear available has stressed function over style and elegance... Until now... Scoobius Du Designer Glasses - Help Your Canine See In Style Guaranteed to Bring A Smile...Or Your Money Back If An Accident Occurs, We'll Pay For The Shots! ( The Call of the Wild not included)