JB's Warehouse & Curio Emporium

The December 31, 1920 edition of the Pasadena Post spotlighted (mostly) grinning photos of the paper's staff and local businessmen. Given my penchant for going down research rabbit holes related to anything quirky I stumble upon, this series will look at some of the stories behind the smiling faces.  Pasadena Post, December 31, 1920 . "That ponderous body of his simply shakes." There's descriptive language you just don't see any more.  From the accounts I've found, it seems William A. Haas was a classic old-time entertainment PR man, full of stories and tall tales to go along with his eternal smile. When he died in 1941, his obituary included many claims that might not hold up under scrutiny. He unsuccessfully ran for coroner (possibly in Iowa) against future president William Howard Taft. He suggested that William McKinley be promoted as the “Advance Agent of Prosperity” during the 1896 presidential campaign. He planted the idea of motion pictures in Thomas E...

As I once wrote in a Historicist column , it was hard to tell if longtime Toronto newspaper columnist McKenzie Porter believed everything he wrote or pulled the legs of innocent readers. His columns for the Telegram and the Toronto Sun are full of head-scratching passages that are hopefully meant to be satirical. Ranting about pooping is definitely humorous, defending apartheid in South Africa less so. The absurdity of Porter's columns fits comfortably with the contrarion streak that has always filled the Sun 's pages. While researching an upcoming article, I came across this beaut of a Porter column about the movie E.T. It’s one of the oddest attacks of the Steven Spielberg classic I’ve ever read. The film’s problem? It caters to idiots who project human qualities onto animals and other beings! Source: the Toronto Sun , August 6, 1982 Please, please tell me that last line about eugenics was a joke…

Quick, name things you feared as a child. For me, it was comic books, films, or TV shows involving transformation sequences or body horror. These scared the beejezus out of me, even if the transformation was merely implied and not shown, such as a deceased Chevy Chase going back to Earth as adorable mutt Benji in Oh Heavenly Dog (a movie which scared Roger Ebert , for other reasons).  At home, I couldn't handle the transition from Bill Bixby to Lou Ferrigno in The Incredible Hulk . Hearing the Hulk theme music was the cue to scoot elsewhere. Why this shook me up was a good question - maybe I thought it was horrifying that a poor schlep could turn into a raging beast, that he was going through something so unpleasant I didn't want it to happen to me.

While sorting through mounds of childhood stuff at home over Labour Day weekend, I came across a stray card from O-Pee-Chee's Raiders of the Lost Ark trading card set featuring one of my favourite scenes from the movie. The back of the accurately sums up the action on screen. I saw Raiders during its first run at the theatre (whatever name it was operating under that point) in Fort Malden Mall. Given that a year earlier I had run screaming out the Capitol in Windsor when Chevy Chase became Benji in Oh! Heavenly Dog , it's a testament to see how far I'd come in a year when I took in the melting Nazi scene with no problems (other than the dude with the medallion burned into his hand looked like Dad, a resemblance which his high school students reminded him about for the next year or two). From then on, Dad had few worries about taking me to a theatre to see anything that wasn't Muppets, Disney or child-centric. The Raiders card set was one of the first non...

From the vaults (of YouTube), the Warehouse brings you the directorial debut of television star Larry Hagman ( I Dream of Jeannie , Dallas ). The sequel to the 1958 drive-in classic, Beware! the Blob (or Son of Blob ) was among the nominees in "The Most Humiliating Performance by a Future TV Star" category in the book Son of the Golden Turkey Awards : Amazingly enough, it took fourteen years before someone in Hollywood stepped forward to take this obvious challenge and to unfreeze the man-eating strawberry Jell-O for a second attack on the human race . The resulting sequel - inevitably called Son of Blob - defined new lows in cinematic sloppiness and left audiences longing for the sincere stupidity of the Steve McQueen original. The new film tried to combine humorous and terrifying elements in the celebrated style of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes but in its confusion failed either to frighten or to entertain. As one wag put it at the time of the film's release: ...

The unmistakable art of Jack Davis highlights today's ad pick. Contrast the depiction of the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem with the off-kilter characters around them that walked out of Davis casting central. Seeing Davis's work is often comforting, thanks to the toxic amount of Mad books and magazines I read in my teens, along with all of the covers, movie posters and advertisements he has worked on through the years. A sidebar depicted other Columbia releases of the time, including albums from Johnny Cash ( Orange Blossom Special ) and Thelonious Monk ( Monk ). Here's a clip of the group performing on The Ed Sullivan Show around the time this ad would have appeared on newsstands in 1965. Also in this issue: The first excerpt of Ian Fleming's The Man With the Golden Gun . Fleming had promised Playboy the pre-publication serialization rights shortly before his death in August 1964, having been satisfied with the magazine's previous handling of...

Over the lunch hour yesterday, I popped into the neighbourhood used record store and picked up a pair of soundtracks: The Producers (original film version from the 60s) and North By Northwest . I usually test out additions to my CD collection on the road, so when I needed to head out to the east end to snap photos for a future article, I brought along the disc pictured at left, Bernard Herrmann's score to one of my favourite Hitchcock flicks. Driving home along Danforth, I noticed a police car with all lights flashing race up behind me...just as the soundtrack reached the scene where Cary Grant suddenly finds himself holding a knife lodged in the back of a diplomat at the United Nations. My heart jumped out of my body and performed acrobatic stunts I haven't been able to do since grade two. I pulled over to the side to allow the police to race to their emergency and to chuckle at how the music and traffic had coincided so perfectly. Not the right scene, but the pho...

While I never owned a plug-into-the-TV video game system until I was pushing 30, I often played with Atari, Colecovision, Videorama, etc. at many friends' homes growing up. I usually passed level one of play about 20% of the time, but it was fun. Digging through stacks of cartridges to find the next game to get royally clobbered at. Now you can create your own mythical games thanks to the Atari 2600 Label Generator . Digging through the closest cache of pictures, here's a piece of Canadian history turned into thrilling gameplay... The game: English and France are at battle for control of Quebec in 1759. Players choose a blue (France) or red (England) soldier to shoot at the enemy to win the battle of the Plains of Abraham. Bonus points for shooting at the occasional bird that flies by...but beware of the poop they spew! Bonus Feature: There is one Atari commercial that sticks out in my mind, mostly because I was razzed by my peers for admitting I hated it. Several ki...

Today's trip in the wayback machine revolves around a show that may that started my love of old movies. Magic Shadows ran weeknights on TVOntario throughout the 1970s and 1980s. The show divided old movies into 20-25 minute segments, bookended with comments by host Elwy Yost. Often, one day a week was reserved for serials. The length was perfect for little me to get hooked on classic movies, especially if they were pictured in our quickly-tattered copies of Daniel Blum's photo histories of film. Dad often tuned in for British comedies - I'm All Right Jack and The Great St. Trinian's Train Robbery stick out in my mind. It wasn't long before I started watching Saturday Night at the Movies . Around this time was a brief period where I was trotted around my elementary school as a seven-year old film expert lecturing grade eights, though I think Dad quashed that quickly (probably thinking I didn't need to be paraded around like a carnival freak). Some peo...

1,159: PLUNK YOUR MAGIC TWANGER FROGGY! Growing up, my father was full of wacky catchphrases, mostly gained from radio or TV shows from his childhood. This must be a genetic trait, as it takes little prompting for my sister and I to run off lines from, say, SCTV or Kids in the Hall . One radio show that seemed to stick with Dad was Smilin' Ed's Gang (aka The Buster Brown Show , after its sponsor). Running from 1944 to 1953 and hosted by Smilin' Ed McConnell , it featured stories and an array of animal characters . The latter included Midnight the Cat, who always said "Nice" (or,as Dad put it, "'Niiiiice', says Midnight"), Squeaky the Mouse and, most infamously, Froggy the Gremlin , a malevolent doll with a repetitive speech pattern. What got me to thinking about this was an entry at News from ME , which included a lengthy clip from Smilin' Ed's successor on television, veteran character actor Andy Devine (Smilin' Ed moved th...

While doing some research in the Toronto Reference Library last month, I went down to the newspaper collection in the basement and photocopied the front page of the Windsor Star from my sister's birthday, which I used to wrap one of her presents. While scrolling through the microfilm, I also took a look at what was playing on local screens the day she arrived. (Her birth notice proved interesting, as a few babies down was one of my friends, who I didn't meet until nearly a quarter century later!) Note the lengthy run of Silver Streak , a rarity at the multiplex these days. Also note the odd pairing at the Windsor Drive-In: a Led Zep doc and a road-race comedy. The movies at the bottom of the page also couldn't be more different: Voyage of the Damned was an oscar-nominated drama about Jews attempting to leave Germany in 1939, while Mako: The Jaws of Death was one of the first Jaws ripoffs. As for the theatres in this ad: * The Devonshire ran through the 90s, its...

Yes, our friend the darling pet monkey is back. A year-and-a-half after hanging out with Dr. Strange and Nick Fury Agent of SHIELD, here he is in a "confessional" magazine. Maybe the monkey was edging towards more adult concerns - supporting cancer research, removing unwanted hair, etc. Note price and clothing remain the same, leading to one funky (smelling) pet. Like the monkey, Blair was also a frequent comic book advertiser well into the 70s, with "Tim Newcomer" as their usual saleskid. Alas, no further information on them. Permagon was only one of a wide variety of oddball products Honor House sold in magazines. If you didn't want a hair zapper, how about a personal nuclear sub ? Also, note how the object the scantily-clad model is holding in the closeup looks like a grease/mark-up pencil. Could be they lost the zapper for the shot and had to borrow the closest substitute from the paste-up artist nearby. It is also possible that she is wearing one of t...

The oldest CBC ad I've found in my mound of mags, touting the network's comedy/variety lineup for 65-66. The jovial man pictured is Larry Mann, a mainstay of CBC television programming of the era (including the show he's a booster for, Wayne and Shuster ). Among Mann's credits: the voice of Yukon Cornelius in Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer . Speaking of Rudolph , was anyone else spooked as a kid by the Rankin Bass logo that appeared at the end? If you're confused, this clip will jostle your memory. It's a simple ad, but it's not hard to see why he's laughing at the lineup. Read the fine print and you'll encounter many fondly remember series, including the debut seasons of Get Smart! and I Dream of Jeannie and the end of the line for The Dick Van Dyke Show . As for those shows that might not be familiar: Flashback (1962-68): CBC copies itself with a variant on Front Page Challenge . The panel had to guess the person or event, followe...

It was going to be a rare quiet Thursday night. Sitting at home, wasting time on the computer, debating when to pop a Harold Lloyd disc I rented into the DVD-o-matic. The phone rings. It's my friend Brad, who I haven't seen in awhile. He knows I'm game for most things, so asks if I'm interested in catching a movie. It takes a special movie to motivate one to drive from Guelph to Toronto to catch a flick on a weeknight. Hello, opening night for Snakes on a Plane . We drove down to the Paramount. For the first time ever, I ordered tickets online and was surprised how quick the pick-up process was. Brad joked that my reaction would have made a good commercial ("wow, I can't believe how simple that was!"). The theatre wasn't 100% packed, but the crowd was lively. When we walked in, teens were already yelling "SNAKES ON A PLANE!" and jeering the first of a 10-minute stream of commericals. Objects flew around the seats. Audience members...

While passing through Guelph on the weekend, this caught my eye. Had the dumpiest theatre from my university days finally met its end? While I only saw one movie at the 3 Star, it was the constant butt of jokes for years for its less-than-optimal state (for the record, a group drove out to catch Goldeneye during second year). Remote-for-students-without-vehicles location, small auditoriums and decaying conditions were among the complaints. When a Galaxy opened up down the road, one had to figure that 3 Star, despite low prices, would bite the dust . The place had various identity crises. I didn't know the name had changed to Woodlawn; nobody took the effort to replace all of the signs. Called the 3 Star, had 6 screens, with plans for 9. Call it a thing for multiples of 3... A few shots of the interior. Don't remember, but I'd guess the concession stand signs were there back in '95. The general appearance gave me 80s teen movie vibes. The 3 Star/Wood...

This week and next likely mark the end of a good chunk of Toronto's rep cinemas. Last month, it wasa announced that the Royal, Revue, Kingsway and Paradise theatres will shut their doors on June 30th - you'll find plenty of links via this BlogTO story . Health and time permitting (I am currently battling a cold I may have picked up abroad), I'm trying to catch a flick at each before the doors are locked. First stop was the Paradise on Bloor West. This was only the second time I'd seen a film there, the first being Nashville several years ago. Main memories were a grainy print and that the armrest on my seat was attached by duct tape, gum or a similarly sticky substance. A brief history of the Paradise, from John Sebert's book The Nabes : There has been a theatre on this site since the early teens; the first was the Bloor Palace. After World War One, it was changed to the Kitchener - a tip of the hat to the British Field Marshall, Lord Kitchener...In 1939, ...

Since the Warehouse knows you love vintage educational films with modern humourous commentary, we are proud to bring you one of the loopiest representatives of the genre, 1957's Mr. B Natural . Here's how Ken Smith described today's presentation in his book Mental Hygiene: Classroom Films 1945-1970 : C.G. Conn, a manufacturer of musical instruments, sponsored this film - and what a film it is. Mr. B Natural is an elflike character played by a middle-aged woman named Betty Luster, who was probably a summer-stock Peter Pan. As Mr. B Natural, she wearts a powder blue Robin Hood cap and blazer covered with musical notes and delivers every line as if it were punctuated with three exclamation marks. Mr. B Natural represents "the spirit of fun in music" and has come to earth to help twelve-year old Buzz Turner discover that being in a school band (stocked with Conn musical instruments) can be "fun, fun, fun!!!" Buzz certainly needs help. He's a shy b...

Finally got around to watching Bowling For Columbine today. I enjoyed it for the way it took on the insanity of guns in the US. Sure, odd bits seemed forced or took jumps of logic, but overall I agreed with Moore's barbs at his country. Having grown up surrounded by the Detroit media, all we ever heard on the news was the latest shooting of the day, the coverage of which grew more sensationalistic over the years. Whenever I head home, I catch a local newcast just to see how much further down the toilet its gone. It never fails to meet the lowest expectations, as shown in the film by the behaviour of the reporter when the cameras weren't rolling (here he is covering the shooting of a child, and he's worried about his hair. Looks triumph over substance again). Lots of the local groups and events covered in the film were the butt of jokes while growing up...Gibraltar Trade Centre gun shows (advertised enthusiastically on billboards and TV), the Michigan Militia, the g...

Waited with the gang in the drizzle last night to see the Matrix Reloaded at the Uptown. The theatre took awhile to fill up, as it was still half-empty minutes before showtime. The Uptown will be a loss when it closes in the next year, the last of the old major chain palaces. Signs have gone up indicating it's future as, what else, condos. Its demise was sealed when Famous Players decided to close it rather than comply with a legal request to provide handicapped access, along with the Plaza and the Eglinton. The ideal way for the theatre to go, and take advantage of its ample space, would be to show a classic silent with a live orchestra. Gone...the last theatre not to show advertising slides and star puzzles before the movie. The movie itself? A mixed bag - the second half, with the freeway chase, worked better than the first, unless you're a fan of bump n' grind hippie dance sequences. The theatre helped, as the acoustics in the Uptown allow you the feel each k...