hulk serves coffee!

 Originally posted on the Substack version of this site on January 8, 2026.

Unless noted, all art in this entry was published in Defenders #62, August 1978. Written by David Anthony Kraft, pencilled by Sal Buscema, inked by Jim Mooney.

What does one do when an unexpected mass of superheroes shows up on your doorstep?

Serve them coffee, of course! Even if, as an Asgardian valkyrie, you’ve never brewed a pot of it over your centuries of life.

And so, we have one of the goofiest sequences published in a 1970s Marvel comic. Because today feels like a day we could use a little goofiness as a breather.

Cover art for Defenders #62 by John Romita Jr. and Bob Layton. This cover includes several heroes who weren’t even part of this storyline, like Iron Man and the Human Torch! Clockwise from the centre: Nighthawk, Angel, Hellcat, Iron Man, Human Torch, Dollar Bill, Hulk, Hercules, Nova, Valkyrie, Power Man (Luke Cage), Iron Fist, Jack of Hearts, Captain Marvel, Falcon, Spider-Woman.

The Defenders was Marvel’s secondary team book, running from 1972 to 1986. Evolving out of plot lines which tied up loose ends from Doctor Strange’s short-lived late 1960s solo title and an early 1970s storyline teaming up the Hulk, Silver Surfer, and Sub-Mariner, its initial hook was that it was actually a “non-team” where heroes teamed together because they had to, not because they wanted to. Despite this concept, a core membership did develop, usually with the Hulk at its centre.

The title developed a reputation for being way quirkier than the Avengers could ever dream of, especially during writer Steve Gerber’s run (#20-41). This was a team which fought deer mind-controlled by evil mystics, third-party presidential candidates with malleable heads, an est-inspired human potential group known as the “Bozos,” etc. There was a running sub-plot where an elf with a gun randomly shot people with no explanation, a storyline which ended when Gerber’s successors had him randomly run over by a truck.

Defenders #62 arrived towards the end of David Anthony Kraft’s run as writer, which oscillated between serious (do not read issue #50 if you’re contemplating suicide) and weird for the sake of being weird (one whole storyline inspired by listening to too many Blue Oyster Cult albums). This issue kicks off a three-issue saga usually referred to as “Defenders for a Day” but officially titled here as “Dollar Bill’s Documentary Disaster,” where the aforementioned Dollar Bill (a film student who’d been a recurring character throughout Kraft’s run - he’s the dude in the bottom right corner of the cover) releases a short doc suggesting anyone can join the Defenders.

Cue a pile of mostly B-listers showing up at the team’s HQ.

Left to right: Paladin, Havok, Hulk, Ms. Marvel (Carol Danvers), Captain Marvel (Mar-Vell), Stingray, Son of Satan. 

Note that the Hulk had a particular style of brew he preferred and would not allow anybody to drink it otherwise.

Also, Captain Marvel’s private thoughts are just…kinda weird, given he’s been on Earth for ages by this point. Presumably he drank plenty of coffee at NASA meetings around the time the character debuted in 1967.

While most people now know Thanos as the big bad from the Avengers movies, back in the 1970s the character usually ran up against Captain Marvel and Adam Warlock.

And yes, Marvel got away with publishing a character named Son of Satan at this time. A half-human, half-demon dude who fought off other demons, he headlined several series during the decade in various titles.

During this storyline, Marvel’s version of Hercules (who had briefly been an Avenger in the 1960s and had just been a member of the third-tier Champions team before that title was cancelled a few months earlier) self-appointed himself the new leader of the Defenders after all the wannabe team members arrived.

Based on his reaction, mead would have been a better option.

Clearly Valkyrie was not pleased by Herc’s reaction to her coffee.

This incarnation of the Valkyrie, who was a member of the Defenders for all but a few issues of the entire run, requires a full post to make sense of the character’s backstory as it stood in 1978. All I will say is that (a) it’s about to get even more complicated with the next storyline, and (b) this is not the MCU version you may be familiar with.

Seriously, I require flow charts to explain this character’s backstory. Just know she’s a Wagnerian-style valkyrie stuck in a mortal body of a former cult member (whose obnoxious ex-husband who had just ceased being a supporting character in the series after he joins S.H.I.E.L.D.) who makes lousy coffee.

Serving Valkyrie’s bad coffee seems to have made Hulk sad, as well as being overwhelmed by too many heroes. 1978 was peak “dumb Hulk,” where the character had the intelligence of a child, ate massive amounts of baked beans, gave everyone easy-to-remember nicknames (such as “Sword-Girl”), and threatened to smash things every five minutes. It’s fitting that Sal Buscema drew this storyline, as he was the regular artist of The Incredible Hulk for a decade.

When this issue hit the stands, the Hulk’s TV show had just wrapped up its first half-season as a spring replacement series on CBS, and was greenlit for a full run that fall. One would imagine this would have done wonders for sales of the Defenders, but the series was about to fall into a rut under Kraft’s successor as writer, Ed Hannigan. His run from 1978 to 1980 was lowlighted by an “is this ever going to end?” story line about a boring fantasy realm called Tunnelworld (not coming to an MCU movie near you) and underwhelming art.

Left to right: Tagak the Tiger Lord, Polaris, Iron Fist, Torpedo, Havok, Black Goliath, Hulk, Stingray.

The issue ends with a pile of wannabe Defenders deciding it’s time to bring the Hulk to justice. Or maybe they’re still ticked off about the coffee.

Spoilers; they don’t bring ol’ Jade Jaws to justice.

Instead, all of the heroes now had to face a raft of C-list villains who also declared themselves to be Defenders.

Defenders #64, October 1978. Pencilled by either George Perez or Keith Pollard, inked by Frank Giacoia. 

The storyline wrapped up in issue #64, which was the first issue of Defenders I bought in back issue bins as a pre-teen. The heroes and villains fight, and Valkyrie starts seeing everyone as Asgardian trolls. The wannabe Defenders decide they don’t want to be Defenders anymore and stomp off.

No coffee was served in this issue.