love and shortening

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Source: the Globe, December 20, 1893.
To those celebrating Valentine's Day later this week, keep this in mind: a relationship can't be cemented unless there's high-quality shortening uniting you.

According to Wikipedia, Cottolene was a beef tallow and cottonseed oil based shortening marketed from 1868 through the mid-20th century. Its advertising campaigns were directed at destroying North America's "lard habit."

Please don't let this catch the eye of some Crisco executive, lest they get the brilliant idea to run a viral marketing campaign based around romance and their product. There are many, many roads that could go down, some of which aren't safe for work.

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